Curt on Gender in Ukraine

CULTURAL OBSERVATIONS : GAY LIFE IN KIEV

You know, Ukrainian’s get a lot of flack over their supposed intolerance of gays. But I don’t see any evidence of it. The Butch college girls sitting next to me look and act just like they do in in the west. They could be from Seattle given the way they’re dressed – particularly the girl with blue hair.

It might be that I live in one of the university districts, but the gay men here are just a little less flamboyant at attracting attention than their american counterparts. But ALL Ukrainians are less flamboyant and seeking of attention than their American counterparts. They have these strange things called ‘extended family’ and ‘real friends’, and daily participation in ‘social life’ that they get attention from, rather than living in McBoxes, surrounded by ‘stuff’ and dependent upon media for a sense of membership in a group that gives them positive status rewards. (Strange as it is, Americans are outliers in this regard – aliens to the rest of the world.)

You can’t celebrate being gay, which is to force it into the social and political realm. And you certainly can’t politicize it. You can’t politicize much of anything here really. Politicizing anything is (rightly) considered an attempt to gain privileges of some sort – and attention. Both of which are not ‘Ukrainian’ values.

I mean, my ‘hairmaster’ (hairdresser) would look right at home in San Francisco or Seattle – both of which are pretty friendly to gender differences.

RACISM VS GAY LIFE
I see the very clear genetics of every damned tribe from the Urals to the western Celts in this city. It’s absolutely beautiful, and a crucible for the study of european tribalism. But it’s pretty clear that there is a very big difference between the western Indo European/Uralic, Turkic, Afro-Asiatic (Arabic), African cultures and the third group: East asians, and southeast asians. And while in the states our history with slavery has forced us to attempt equality, it’s pretty clear here that ‘troublemakers’ are not desirable. But why are they considered ‘troublemakers?’ Well, for the same reason blacks and hispanics in the states and muslims and Romanians in the UK, and Turks in Germany are considered ‘troublemakers’: because statistically it’s true.

All clubs do exercise “Face Control”, which means that if your face would reduce the desirability of the club then they’ll reject you. You don’t have any ‘rights’ per say to enter a business. Nor they to serve you. The clubs just protect their brand value.

A lot of turkic and arabic men come to Kiev trying to find women. A very few black men. (A lot of ‘douchebag’ Americans do too, and that’s just one of the reasons that I avoid the expat community like lepers. A trip to the Embassy is all I need to remind me how pathetic fat, ignorant and privileged americans are.) Yes, Ukrainian women are absolutely the best women in the world. It’s true. It’s one of those things that’s just inconceivable to people who haven’t lived here. And because of the open sexuality (pervasive display of feminine confidence, pride, desirability and power) a lot of men think that these women will be ‘easy’. Which is pretty much the opposite of the truth. Women are more honest here. But you must COURT them. They ‘give it up’ a lot less easily than in the west. They just do it honestly. Sure, it’s a lot easier to have a fling with an attached woman here, and it appears to me that italian-style ‘mistresses’ are pervasive, family is still the center of all personal life. And courting a woman is a matter of determining your potential as a family member. (I think I have that right. The generations differ a bit. But I think I have that right.)

And like any society, especially one where so many men are ‘useless, unproductive, alcoholic, and lazy’ a less desirable, but aggressive, higher testosterone male, who is willing to court, can pick up marginal and below the margin women here, who are vastly superior to the women they could find at home.

Unfortunately, they’re considered ‘creepy’, profane and rude. So the clubs use ‘Face Control’ to keep the places ‘desirable and safe’ for women. Women in turn draw men. And that’s the economics of clubs.

COMPARISON
So I tend to look at these things the same way: society is just a big extension of the FAMILY and families here – not a corporation. So within your ‘family and circle’ you can do whatever you want. But politicking aside from criticizing the corrupt government seems to pretty much reject particularism of any kind.

It’s actually a means of enforcing the local perception of equality.

Given that all political privileges are by definition thefts, I have to pretty much agree with how things are done here.

If it weren’t for the pervasive political corruption and soviet-induced absence of the rule of law, then this would be one of the most desirable societies on earth.

Curt Doolittle
Kiev.

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